Friday, November 18, 2005

Please Share

ANYBODY INTERESTED IN SHARING THEIR PAIN OF DEPRESSION / OCD WITH ANOTHER DEPRESSED PERSON PLEASE SHARE IT HERE WITH ME.
 
Sharon

posted by Life Coach Dave @ 5:10 PM   1 comments

1 Comments:

At 5:51 PM, Blogger KateOnTheGo said...

I am a 25 year old Australian girl that struggled for nearly four years with depression. However, I am now over the worst part of what I can only describe as a horrible, debilitating illness. I am a successful lawyer, and am now loving life and I am loving being on my own, taking life as it comes. I now have so much control in the decisions that I make in my life, and importantly, I now no longer carry around that label I seem to give myself - "Depressed Person".

My story appears to be quite similar to many others. I started having problems later on in my teens years, but it was only when I reached 20 when I began to really notice how different my behaviour had become. I was an intelligent, social butterfly at university, completing my degrees in Law and Business.

However, as time passed, studying became my "haven" and I emersed myself in it, because when it came to every day life, I'd become anxious and uptight. I'd be in public and I would think that every person would be staring at me. I couldnt engage in social activities because my heart rate would climb and I would panic. I also begun to have serious arguements with my father. At the time, I just thought that I was going through a belated case of "terrible teens". I thought I was fat, I thought that people didnt like me, I thought that I wasnt measuring up to what people wanted me to be. I just locked myself away and studied.

I then make a stupid decision and took some ephedrine-based diet pills, because I wanted to lose weight. It was the worst decision I have ever made. It launched me into a phase of debilitating panic attacks, and I was to spend five to seven days in bed, unable to move in sheer panic. My parents didnt know what was going on, and neither did I. I couldnt go to uni, and I was worried that I would lose my part time job that I had. It wasnt until I had to tell my parents what I had done, that I finally got taken to a doctor.

After then, I was placed on anti-depressants by some random GP who diagnosed me as "clinically depressed". But it didnt make sense to me, so I didnt treat it very seriously. I didnt understand what it meant, and although I was often down, I never thought i was "depressed" and certainly never contemplated taking my own life. I wasnt down about my life circumstances. I was doing very well at university, I had a good job, and I had good friends. I just spent a lot of time worrying about everything, and it would cause me to feel out of control. I simply couldnt link the way in which my body was behaving, to the diagnosis. So I didnt listen to the doctors. I would take my medication, but I would keep drinking with friends, sometimes forget to take the medication, and also ignored the doctors recommendations to see a psuchologist. I wasnt ready to admit that there was something wrong. For the next year or so, I took my medication but I may as well have just not bothered.

It was my second major "panic attack" that really made the situation "hit home". I was on medication yet it was still happening. In other words, something was really wrong and I had to do something about it.

I finally saw a specialist in depression/panic disorders. I wasnt diagnosed as "clinically depressed". Rather, it was something a little more serious - I had "agitated depression", which is (as I understand it) more in the league of manic/major depressive disorders. This frightened me.

I then made the decision, in that doctors surgery, that I was going to make a difference to my life:

1. I begun to take my medication regimentally;
2. I sought help from a psychologist regularly, and learnt ways to deal with my vies on life, people's expectations, and my relationship with my father and others;
3. I FORCED myself to get up out of bed each day and exercise, even if it was for fifteen minutes, even if it was just a walk around the block;
4. Learnt about CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy;
5. And importantly, STOPPED THE ALCOHOL.

As a result, I am a successful professional that has agitated depression. I am a normal, functioning person that has a medical condition. I am just the same as everyone else, except I just have to take a little bit more care of myself, both physically and mentally.

Its all about taking the condition seriously, and taking steps to rise above it. And seeking help from professionals that know how to help, even if you question how they could ever "help" the problems that you feel you have.

I urge people to email me if they want to chat to me, or ask me anymore questions, because I want to be the person that people look to, and realise that it doesnt matter how dire your situation, there is a way out. I am not entirely out of the clear, but I am well and truly on my way. And I sit back and remember the dark moments where I didnt feel I would ever see the end of it again.

Kate.

p.s please visit my site. If you wish to chat, please email initally rather than leave public comments.

 

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